Coming in 2013

After re-reading some of my blogs, I have decided I want to start blogging again.  I will have blog #1 of 2013 on January 1.  At that time I will update what has happened in the past year and set out a game plan for the coming year.

I have missed blogging and I am looking forward to getting back to it.

Until then…



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2012 in review

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The new Boeing 787 Dreamliner can carry about 250 passengers. This blog was viewed about 800 times in 2012. If it were a Dreamliner, it would take about 3 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

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Weigh In 11-21-11

Previous weight:  319.6 lbs

Current weight:  322.0 lbs

+/-:  +2.4 lbs

I’m actually not very upset about the gain this week.  My monthly visitor showed up on Saturday with a vengeance.  Water retention, water retention, water retention! 

I was expecting to show a gain this week, simply based on how my clothes are fitting.  I suppose the real test will be at next Monday’s weigh in! 

I bought lots of healthy choices for the week.  But I think even with the best of intentions, we can all attest to how difficult getting through Thanksgiving and Christmas can be without going a little bit nuts.  Maybe I’ll just use the rule:  If you want it, you gotta earn it.  Then take a walk before giving in to over eating?  


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Weigh In 11/17/11

My last weigh in was Oct 20th, so almost a month ago.  How am I doing?  See for yourself…

Previous weight:  321.6 lbs

Current weight:  319.6 lbs

+/-:  -2.0 lbs

I know, I should be happy with any loss, but I have to admit I always hope to see more.  It would probably be helpful if I would have more realistic goals, instead of just hoping and praying that I’ll wake up one day to discover that I miraculously lost 150+ lbs.  Not going to happen, I know.

This is an attempt to get in there, get my ass moving and what better way than making myself accountable?  Please do me a favor, if I don’t post weigh ins weekly, kick my ass until I do.  Monday I will go back to regularly scheduled programming by posting my weigh ins then.

You may be asking yourself what the hell I am thinking jumping back on the waggon right before the holidays start.  That is a valid question.  The way I see it, if I am not at least trying to do the right things, then I am going to be out of control for the next month.  There won’t be a pie, cookie or piece of candy that will stand a chance.  I am counting on reporting my weight weekly again, as a means to hold me to not over indulging. 

The following recipe really has nothing to do with anything.  I just figured while I am posting I will throw this in, I’ve been meaning to for a while now.  I thought maybe this would go well with David from Keep It Up David‘s Dijon Green Beans.  For the record I got this from Atkins Recipe’s.  My family really enjoys it, I hope you do as well.


      12 ounce pork tenderloin, sliced into 4 medallions
      2 tablespoons unsalted butter
      1 teaspoon chopped garlic
      ¾ cup chicken broth
      ¼ cup sour cream
      1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
      1 tablespoon fresh dill, minced
      Pinch salt
    Pinch ground black pepper


  1. Heat butter in a heavy skillet over medium-high heat until foam subsides. Add pork medallions and sauté until browned, about 5 minutes per side. Remove pork from skillet and cover to keep warm. 
  2. Add garlic to skillet and sauté until aroma is released, about 30 seconds. 
  3. Add chicken broth, scraping up any browned bits. Simmer liquid 2–3 minutes to reduce slightly.
  4. Remove skillet from heat and whisk in sour cream, mustard and dill. Season with salt and pepper.
  5. Return pork to skillet along with any juices that have accumulated. Reheat over medium heat for just 2–3 minutes. Transfer to a platter and serve immediately

Nutritional Information
Per Serving:

Net Carbs: 3 grams

Fiber: 0 grams

Protein: 37 grams

Fat: 22 grams

Calories: 368
Recipe Information:
Makes: 2 servings

Prep Time: 0:05:00

Marinate Time: 0:00:00

Cook Time: 0:15:00

Cool Time: 0:00:00






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Being Called Out

It’s no secret that I’ve been struggling.  I’ve been struggling for the better part of a year now. 

It is also no secret that when I struggle, I hide.  I’ve really neglected my blog and my social media friends.  Both of which I love and need.  Desperately.

Although my darkness recently has not been anywhere near as dark as it has been in the past, imagine my surprise when I was reading a blog the other day and minus my name, nailed me to a t.

That’s right, Tara over at A Life Changing Journey was telling of a recent experience she had at Walmart.  Go ahead and go over and read it, it’s fairly short and the story is pertinent to mine…I’ll be here waiting.

What Tara describes in her blog about that woman and her child could have very well been me and any one of, if not all, of my 4 kids.  It horrifies and terrifies me to think that I am this woman.  While we do better most days, the reality is my children have no idea what whole foods are, they prefer sodas (diet or regular) over good ol’ water. 

When I first read the blog, admittedly, it ruffled my feathers.  But as I laid in bed waiting, begging, needing sleep to over take me, my mind kept spinning back to what Tara had written. 

Tara is 100% correct.  I am addicted to junk foods and drinks.  I do look for the easy way out when feeding myself and my family.  What is most disturbing though is even though for the past year I have lamented about wanting changing, teaching my kids better, blah, blah, blah.  I have failed.  I have not made much of an effort to live my life differently.  In turn my children are doing exactly what I am doing.  I actually call it “Monkey see, monkey do syndrome”.

I mean, a 5-year-old should really be able to shop with Mom for an hour without having leg cramps that keep her up all night later.  Right?  Right!

Then last night as I laid in bed, waiting for sleep, I realized that I have insomnia most nights because I don’t do enough physical activities most days to tire my body and mind.  I know this because when I actually get off my ass and work out, at night when I go to bed I fall right to sleep and my insomniac episodes are far and few between.

So, last night as I was trying to go to sleep I was reading blogs.  I came across a blog Emily at Skinny Emmie wrote about doing whatever it takes to reach your goals.  What really struck me though was this:

Borrowed from Skinny Emmie

For the past year I have been focused on finding myself, when all I really need to do is create myself.  Funny how something so simple can have such an emotional impact.  When I saw those words in black & white, I cried. 
Everything these two amazing bloggers/women wrote in these two recent blogs has really broken my heart and moved me.  Had they scribbled my name in there some where, I don’t believe they could have spoken to me any more clearly.
So thank you ladies for the slap in the face.  I really, really need it and it was long over due.


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Weigh In 10-20-11

My last weigh in was a month ago. How’d I do?  See for yourself.

Previous weight:  325.2 lbs
Current weight:  321.6  lbs

+/-:  -3.6 lbs

I’m not really sure how I feel about this. Let down?  Disappointed?
I was hoping for more.


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Neglected Blog

Ok, I’ll admit it.  I neglect my blog.  There is a laundry list of reasons why. 

I’m embarrassed to continue blogging about trying to lose weight when I am not making any real progress.  Or my blog simply isn’t a priority right now. 

I don’t feel either are valid reasons to run  and hide, but we all know that I hide. 

I haven’t weighted for a couple of weeks now.  I haven’t been watching my blood sugar or eating right. 

I’ve got to find that “something” to get me going again.

I know, no one can make me do it.  It has to come from within.

I’ve been thinking about something lately.

Do I love myself?  Hell, do I even like myself? 

Honestly, most days are no.  I go between acceptance and complete and utter loathing.

This is where my hang ups stem from and why I continue to fail.  Not just with weight loss, but also with every other change or improvement to my life I try.

When I tell myself and others that I want to change, I am essentially saying  “I love myself, I find value in myself, I am worth fighting for”.

While I want the change, I have a hard time loving myself or finding value or fighting for myself.  Hence, I find it next to impossible to stick with any sort of plan or change. 

I constantly fall back into old habits.  They are familiar, they are comfortable.

So this is where I am these days.  I pray that I don’t stay here long.  We are finished with our little hiatus from church, I know getting back into the routine will help.

I also know that if I will lean on the Lord, he will guide me.

It’s time to start turning it around.



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