Category Archives: General

Just a general blog about what is going on, how I am feeling and goals I am working towards.

Randomness Extraordinaire

Borrowed from Skinny Emmie

Borrowed from Skinny Emmie

I’ve been thinking about something.  A lot.  The name of this blog is “Finding Christi” but after 2 years of being on this epic quest, something has become clear; I don’t need to be found.  I’ve never been lost.  I’ve been here the whole time.  At times I may have lost my way or been confused about the direction my life was turning.  I have at times lost my voice.  But I’ve always been here.

So what is it that I have been thinking about?  I feel like the name of this blog should be a more appropriate representation of me.  I am considering renaming this blog “Being Christi”.  Kind of just wanted to throw that out there and maybe get some feed back on what my loyal reader thinks.

The next bit of randomness involves me hooking.

No, no.  Not THAT kind of hooking.

Crocheting.

If you know me in real life, you know I am obsessed. I always have been.  A couple of my aunts taught me some basic stuff when I was a kid to keep me entertained.  As I get older the more I find myself wanting to do it more.   I have more crochet hooks and yarn than I need.

It really is a terrible affliction.  Your house becomes covered in various crocheted items.  And your friends and family and their kids and friends can only stand to be given so many crocheted things.

So this leaves me in quite the predicament.  What do I do with the pieces I make?

My husband has suggested I sell it.  But I don’t know.  In a way I see his point, at the very least it would cover the cost of the yarn and I would be able to buy more yarn!  On the other hand, who would I sell it to?  Am I good enough to ask someone to give me money?

The one thing I know for sure is I want to make some various pieces, book marks, wash clothes, dish clothes, scarfs, hats, lapgahns etc., to give out at some assisted living homes around here.  I would like to have a few boxes full come December.  I just have to figure out how to fund this project and how to go about actually being allowed in to give these things to the residents.  Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated.

Here are a few examples of my work:

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babyheadphones

cowgirl set

On health note.

My food this week has been less than stellar.  It hasn’t been horrible, but could certainly use some improvement.  Something about cold weather makes me crave ice cream.  I don’t know why this is.  I probably have my Daddy to thank for that.  He always had ice cream and it seems like especially in the winter.

I’m getting ready to take the family Paleo.  This should be fun, and I am sure we will all be going through some sugar and carb withdrawals.  Please keep us in your prayers during this time.

Does anyone have a beginners Yoga dvd you would recomend?

‘Til next time!

~C

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under crochet, Diet, Fun, General, Health, Uncategorized

Oops, Already

I had intended to start 2013 off on a high note, with a recap of 2012 and an official weigh in.

Yea, that didn’t happen.

Monday night as we were getting dressed to go out for New Years Eve I dressed my 3 year old, Camrynn, and was playing around with her. Then I patted her on the bottom and told her to go get her shoes on. When I did she grabbed her bottom and started screaming and crying. Naturally it scared the shit out of me. I grabbed her and asked what was wrong and she just kept saying “my pooper”. I took her pants back off her and had a look.

That’s when I found a golf ball sized knot on her bottom. It was really swollen and red with a tiny black center. I rubbed my finger across it and it was feverish and caused her a lot of pain. My poor baby.

Honestly I thought it was an abscess. Whatever it was, we were going to the emergency room.

At the first ER the wait was approximately 4 hours and at the second they were saying 6 hours but also suggesting people go across town to ER #1.

There was absolutely no way I was going to wait on New Years Eve in an ER with 4 kids, by myself. Especially with a 3 year old who was in so much pain. I elected to drive to a smaller hospital about 30 minutes away.

Once we got to the smaller ER, she was registered and seen by the doctor within 10 minutes of our arrivals.

The doc took one look at Camrynn’s butt and said that it is brown recluse spider bite. OMG. How did I miss that? Naturally she is too young for the medicine they “would like to give”. Camrynn was put on some very strong antibiotics and we are to follow up with her regular doctor today.

Yesterday her bottom was looking better and she seemed to be feeling a lot better as well, until evening. At about 5 pm she kept crying and crying that her “pooper was broke”.

Right now I’m just praying the antibiotics work and there is no or very minimal tissue loss.

The other girls go back to school tomorrow. Hopefully that and getting Camrynn to the doctor will let life slow down a little and I can actually write a blog.

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As It Once Was

I was born in 1975.

By my parents standards, the world had already changed and became “mean”, as they put it.

Even in this “mean” world, growing up in the late 70’s and 80’s, I was still privileged to many experiences my children will never know.

I was allowed to play outside while my parents remained in the house.  If they had worries of me wandering off or getting snatched by a stranger, they weren’t enough for them to keep me from going out.

The way the world is today, I am terrified of letting my kids out of my direct line of sight.

At 9 years old, my oldest daughter is just now allowed to take out the trash or run to the car without me hovering over her.

As a child I was allowed to watch cartoons on Saturday mornings, mainly because that was the only time they came on the one television channel we had.

Now days, we have over 100 channels and you can find cartoons on 24 hours per day.  In fact, my children believe cartoons should be a permanent fixture on our tv.

I mention all of this because today as i was watching the 9/11 tributes, it occurred to me that my children will never live in a world were they are 100% safe.

I suppose, technically, this is true of all of us.  Most of use just had the luxury of ignorance.

At 9, 6 & 5 years old, my kids already have questions and fear surrounding the events of 9/11.

They can’t wrap  their heads around why other people intentionally harm people they don’t know.

It is such a catch 22 situation.  We strive to raise our girls with love and compassion for their fellow-man, regardless of gender, ethnicity, skin color or religion.

But it’s hard.  After all, they are constantly bombarded by information on this person did such -n- such to that person, that person dislikes this person because their way of life doesn’t align precisely with the other persons belief system…ethnicity, religion…blah, blah, blah.

Do you see my point?  How do you raise your children to be compassionate and loving for others, all the while remaining cautious and leery of them?

With all that said…

Image via Yahoo images

Ten years ago today, I was 6 months pregnant with my oldest daughter, Carolyne.  I was at my parents house, laying in my Daddy’s bed, watching tv, when the first plane struck the first tower.

I immediately went to the kitchen to tell my Dad what had just happened.

I remember him saying how strange it seemed for a plane to be flying that low.

I went back to continue watching the news coverage of the events.

After the second plane struck, my Dad said “We are under attack.”

My Dad and I continued watching the news coverage the rest of the day.

I later learned that my husband, Chris (whom I didn’t know at the time) was on the George Washington bridge, with his cousin and brother, headed out of New York at the time of the attacks.

Once they got over into Pennsylvania, they stopped in a town not far from where the flight 93 crashed.

They had originally planned on taking Chris’s brother into Manhattan to sight see, i.e.  statue of liberty, time square, twin towers etc.  Instead they decided that morning to push on because they had the opportunity to make more $$$.

Imagine how different life would be had they gone into Manhattan.  It is actually really scary for me to think about.  The Lord was certainly looking out for them that day.

Where were you/what were you doing on 9/11?

Image via Yahoo images
 
 

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Turn Right Here Left Now

The title of this blog is a quote from the 1953 movie Long Long Trailer, starring Desi Arnaz and Lucille Ball.  It is also one of my most favorite movie quotes of all time.  The other being “Listen, do you smell that?” from the elevator scene in Ghostbusters.  I know, right?

So what do movie quotes have to do with a life blog, little alone a weight loss blog?

Turn right here left now seems to be a theme in my life.  I’ll be cruising along, heading down the right path in life, only to not completely understand the path in front of me.  Inevitably I make a wrong turn.  A left instead of a right.  Thus resulting in miles (years) to make a course correction.

But, isn’t that the great thing about life?  Most things can be changed or corrected.

And that is where I am today.  On course correction.  I am proud of this.  Instead of years to get turned around, it has only taken me a couple of months.

I’m back from my social media hiatus.  Although I have no intentions of EVER being glued to it like before.  I will be resuming my blog, twitter and Facebook activities.  I have missed it, but feel a period of self banishment was necessary.  My focus had become about blogging and tweeting and Facebook, not about health and life.

And I’m back from a much-needed 9 day, kid free, Vegas vacation.

I’ll never be able to thank my in-laws and mother enough for keeping the wrecking crew for us.

I feel refreshed and rejuvenated both physically and mentally.

I am ready to refocus my efforts of growing closer to the Lord, healing and growing my family and finally being successful at getting healthy.

And it is true, when absent from certain people and things in your life, you can really appreciate just how blessed you truly are.

I am just thankful that during my period of inner-personal turmoil, the Lord never left me.

I know that through Him all things are possible, even the battle of the bulge!

Vegas recap, pics and video to come soon!

~Christi~

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It’s Summer

My kids didn’t get out of school until this past Thursday, so this week marks our first official week of summer vacation.

I have a ton of things to get done this week.  Chris and I leave for Vegas in 14 days. 

14 days!  Wheee

Yes, I am excited.  I know a lot of people wonder why a stay at home wife and mother would need a vacation.  Trust me when I tell you that I do.

Chris and I operate under the general rule of if our children can’t go somewhere, we don’t go.  It is a rare occasion that Chris and I have any time alone without children.  It is fine.  They are our kids.  We chose to have them and love them dearly.  But OMG am I ready for a brief reprieve!

So, like I said Chris and I leave for 9 full days in Vegas in 14 days. 

Next week, our oldest daughter Carolyne is leaving for Ruidoso, NM for church camp.  Also, Christyan the 5-year-old is going to my mother’s house for the week. 

Carolyne will come back from Ruidoso that Friday.  Then that Sunday we have to be at my in-laws house for a family bbq.  At this time my mother will bring Christyan to the in-laws to pick up Carolyne.

Catherynn, the 6-year-old, Christyan and Camrynn, the 21 month old, will all stay with my in-laws during our 9 days in Vegas. 

Once we get back from Vegas we will pick up the girls from my in-laws, then drive to my mother’s house to get Carolyne and drop Catherynn off for her week with Granny.

Everyone has to have their own suit case because of all the flipping and flopping we will be doing for the next few weeks.

I’m already exhausted thinking about it.  The logistics of packing 6 people into one or two bags is tough enough, but something I have become fairly efficient at.  It’s a little daunting thinking about packing 6 separate suit cases and 2 carry ons for Chris and I.

Once we get back from our vacation we have a few changes that will be occurring.  But, I’ll share details of that later.

I am still planning on being very mindful of my eating and trying to get in as much exercise as I can during the next few weeks.  I, however, am not going to stress about it.  Whatever happens, happens.  I will deal with the results and the aftermath when I get back.

Now, back to Vegas.  Chris and I go out to Vegas every couple of years.  We have been in the fall and spring.  Never in the summer.  I am anticipating that it is going to be HOT.

We have a few things we are planning once we are out there.  However, we have made it a point to not put anything in stone.  Our goal for this vacation is to do what we want, when we want.  All while relaxing as much as possible.

Chris has agreed to drive me over to L.A. for a day.  I want to go see the beach and Hollywood.  Mostly though, I want to go to Slimmons while I am there.  I found out that they don’t have showers at Slimmons.  Which is kind of a bummer.

I was hoping to have a nice work out with Richard Simmons and then go out to a nice dinner before the drive back to Vegas.  Now it seems I will either have to go out to dinner sweaty and stinky or ride all the way back to Vegas sweaty and stinky.  So I am in a bit of a dilemma on what to do.

What’s going on in your life?

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People Surprise Me

I’ve realized that I am only as alone in this mission to get healthy as I make myself.

Since coming out of hiding, several of my blends and twerps have been quick of chime in about my absence. 

“I am here for you”, “Stop hiding, let me help”,”I miss you, come back”,  “Quit being a puss and come out and play”, are just a few of the comments I got from several people.

I’ve always felt alone with my fat.  Sure I had/have friends, but none that would stand by me when I would pull away.  And certainly none that were in the fat fight as well. 

It surprised me that these people expressed concern and missed me. 

It made my heart sing. 

These are the people, the friends, the family that I have always longed for.  One’s that understand where I am coming from.  One’s that get the deep, dark places I sometimes go.  The one’s that are/will stand by me as I make every single step.

Their support has been constant and amazing.  I hope to one day be able to stand steadfast by them, just as they are me.

Because they are still here, taking each step with me, cheering me on day after day, encouraging me when I want to beat myself down, tomorrow does not seem impossible.  Tomorrow is not nearly as daunting.

I am not sure I will ever be able to express to these people what they mean to me (without coming across as creepy).  But if you are reading this,  thank you for your support, your love, your encouragement, your time and you efforts.   They have not gone unnoticed.

Today was a good day.  Tomorrow will be an even better day.  Because I know I have you guys.

 

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And Sometimes I Still Cry

The following is the blog I posted about a week after my Daddy’s death…

“It’s funny how the mind can realize that something is happening, but the heart refuses to see it.  I went to see my Daddy last Monday when he was in the hospital in Abilene.  I knew he was sick, I had heard and understood what the doctors had said to him.  We had even talked about the pro and cons of CPR when the time came.  Daddy had asked to speak with a preacher which had struck me as odd, especially since in the 32 years I have known the man he had been to church once that I can remember.  But I kissed him and told him I loved him and that I would see him when he got home, that we would be having Christyan’s birthday party out at their house so that he wouldn’t have to walk so far to my house.  I should have stayed.  I never got to see my Daddy again, Chris had to work Tuesday, and Mom went to get Daddy Wednesday.  They got home late, I did get to talk to him for just a moment, I asked how he was feeling and told him I would talk to him tomorrow when I came out.  I never made it out.  I should have went out to see him instead of going to Wal-mart.  I already miss him terribly and its only been a week.  I’m at a loss, I’m not sure what to do with myself, or what to do to help my mother.  While I had only been his daughter for 32 years, my mother has been his wife for 52.  How do you redefine what you are?  I know that death is just a part of life, and life keeps going.  That is evident when I look at my girls.  But it doesn’t make the pain less, and I want to yell at people to stop telling me that he isn’t hurting any more and that he is in a better place.  Well I got news for you people, I am a very selfish person I guess, because all I want is my Daddy.  The baby didn’t understand and at the funeral she kept yelling “Perk Perk get up Perk”  we had tought her to say that to him in the mornings so that he would get out of bed.  Carolyne was so upset she literally passed out.  Catherynn I don’t think realized what was going on.  My Daddy was a lot of different things to a lot of different people, but to us he was the glue that held this family together.  Without him I wonder how far we will drift.  I can’t imagine that we will cling to each other, we never have before.  Will Mom be that glue now?  Can she hold us all together?  I hope so. 

Daddy’s service was very nice.  Considering that it was Memorial Day a lot of people turned out.  It was touching to see the numerous people that thought highly of Daddy.  If you know him you know what I am talking about.  If you don’t know him, you truly missed out on one hell of a man.  I don’t just say that as his daughter, I say that as someone who admired and respected him.

My sister found a poem that really expresses what Daddy meant to all of his girls.

Goodbye Daddy

by Tonya Bailey

Goodbye my precious Daddy,

I love and miss you so.

But The Gates of Heaven opened,

And it is your time to go.

Your painful battles are over,

It is your time to receive.

The greatest gift from God,

Your new life of eternity.

With skies made up of rainbows,

Like the one seen in our dreams.

With endless fountains of love for you,

Like the life you’ve given me.

An angel now in heaven,

Is what you’ve gone to be,

Flying above those rainbows,

Watching over me.

I didn’t want to see you go,

Your memories will never fade.

Hearts are forever broken,

Especially, all the friends you made.

Goodbye my sweet Daddy,

It’s your time to leave this world.

But, I want you to know, what an honor I have,

Being “My Daddy’s Little Girl.”

 

Posted in loving memory of

Cecil Elwayne Perkins

Jan 6, 1938 – May 22, 2008″

 

Mama & Daddy 2001

 

It doesn’t seem possible that he has been gone for so long.  It seems just like yesterday that I was talking to him.  On the same hand, it feels like an eternity since I last saw his face and heard his voice.

And sometimes I still cry.

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