I’ve got to be quite honest with you. Frankly, I am disappointed in you. Six months ago, in October, you started the blog “Finding Christi” as a means for you to find who you are.
At that time, you declared to the world that you would use this blog as an avenue for exploring your relationship with the Lord, an accountability tool for weight loss, and motivation as you struggle to move your body.
Over the past few months what have you accomplished? Being that I am having to write you this letter, I assume you already know the answers.
You have failed to commit yourself. Simply talking about something is not going to get you the results you want.
A little over a year ago, you and your family began a relationship with the Lord. At first the zeal at which you pursued the relationship was fabulous. You came from a dark place, in which you all but denied the very existence of God, into the light where the Lord revealed himself to you in a manner that made continuing to deny him impossible.
However, once that relationship was established and it required more efforts on your part, you began to falter. Your desire for the Lord and at times even your faith wavered.
You boldly proclaimed publicly to use the blog as a sounding board for your thoughts, questions, fears and doubts.
At first you did write a few blogs, conveying some of these things. Recently you have allowed your relationship with the Lord to take a back burner. No longer are you engaging, no longer are you seeking, no longer are you writing.
So you dropped the ball. You failed to truly commit to the Lord and growing your relationship with Him. What is most sad though, is you seemingly have lost your desire. As with any other relationship if you don’t put the time and effort into it, it will become flat and stale.
Is that really how you want to spend eternity with your Lord? Knowing and having Him know that in your earthly life, you just couldn’t be bothered?
The next thing you need to consider is your committment to finally losing the weight and getting healthy. Six months into the journey you have only managed to lose about 10 pounds.
WTF Christi? Seriously, 10 pounds? You could have, you should have lost that in a month.
What excuse will you use this time? Actually, the excuses don’t really matter. What does matter though, is what are you going to do about it? How are you going to change? Are you going to make the committment necessary to change your life?
Are you ready to make this committment?
I think you are.
You are going to have to get past how lazy you are.
What dumb founds me is how much you do for everyone else. You cook, you clean, you wash dishes and laundry, you drive the kids to any and every activity they want, you stay up for days on end if one of them is sick, but when it comes to taking care of yourself you are lazy.
Rather than making yourself something healthy to eat or measuring out appropriate serving sizes, you will make whatever is easy and then pile your plate full. Only to eat until you are miserable. Why would you do that to yourself? You know that immediately after you are going to feel guilt, shame and anger.
What about exercising? When is the last time you bothered?
That’s right, you again proclaimed you were going to do something. Yes, you failed to commit.
Don’t get me wrong. You talk a big game. Hell, you even had your family join the YMCA in the name of exercise. For what? So you could have a million excuses not to go? That is what you do isn’t it?
I feel like we are close and I know you better than anyone else, therefore I feel comfortable calling you out on this one.
I know you love writing, that you enjoy having your blog. If you are going to continue blogging but continue down the same old path you have always been you, you should tear down all of your previous post and change the name of this blog to “Christi’s Big Ol’ B*llsh*t Blog”.
However, if you are serious about cultivating a relationship with the Lord, finding yourself, losing the weight and getting healthier physically, have some integrity.
Stop saying you are trying, unless you are truly trying.
The power is within you, and you alone. No one else can make you seek out the Lord, make healthier food choices, or move your butt to exercise.
The power lies with you, Christi. Don’t let the big picture continue to overwhelm you, tackle it one day at a time. One day at a time.
P.S. Stop talking, stop thinking. Get on with it already!