It seems to me that I have spent most of my life waiting for my life to start. After all, here I am four months shy of being 36-years-old, and I am still waiting.
Thirty six! That means I’ll soon be on the downward slope to 40. Forty. It just doesn’t seem as old to me as it once did. Getting older doesn’t bother me. Most days I don’t feel like I am 35. And I like to believe I don’t look or act old (que reassurance from audience).
What does bother me, hell what pisses me off, is I have probably already lived half of my life and I haven’t done anything. I’m still waiting for my life to start.
What exactly I am waiting for to get started, I have no idea. When I was younger, I played the “when I am thinner” game, A LOT.
Now I play a lot of time playing the “coulda, shoulda, woulda” game.
What’s the point in that?
Since starting this journey of self discovery, I have realized two pretty major things about myself:
- I NEVER finish anything
- I self sabotage
No wonder I am still waiting for my life to get started.
In my youth, I would have just classified these quirks as being a slacker. After all, being a slacker was the hip thing to be. Why it was ever cool is beyond me. I have spent a significant portion of my life doing nothing and committing to even less.
Stellar aspirations, huh?
So, what is an almost middle-aged girl to do?
Revolt against what has sadly become my normal.
I am always telling the wrecking crew of the importance of finishing what you start, challenging yourself by trying new things and stepping out of your comfort zone.
Just another thing I need to stop yapping about and start setting an example for my girls by actually doing.
Three things that I am committed to (short-term):
- Stay within my Weight Watchers points for 1 month
- Exercise 3 times per week for 1 month
- Learn to run 5k in 100 days program.
It’s time to start living my life.
Do you self sabotage?