Accountability

The value of taking time off of long-term agendas, often allows rest, relaxation and a renewed sence of commitment.  Why is it that when a person is working to form new habits and make a lifestyle change, the moment they allow themselves a day of normalcy or a day off, it can quickly go from one or two days to a week?  2 weeks?  A month?

Is it because they have no staying power, no will power or is it because they have no one to be accountable to?  Maybe it is a culmination of the three, at least for me.  I think if I had will power or staying power I never would have let my physical and emotional being get to the point it did.  So what about accountability?  Who are you truly accountable to?  Yourself?  Doubtful.  Honestly, if self accountability truly worked, many of us would not be on this journey.

That’s not to say self accountability can’t be learned over time.  I am fairly certain that as you go through this journey, over time with success and failures notched on your belt, you learn to independently police yourself, thus being more diligent about being self accountable.

What about when you frist start making lifestyle changes?  Who are you accountable to at the very beginning of your journey?  Like I said, obviously I had come to a point in my life where I wasn’t accountable to anyone, hence the need to make a life style adjustment.

As I have discussed previously, my husband Chris really doesn’t care if I am fat, skinny or somewhere in between.  He will love me any way I am.  We are two very different people about a lot of things, but at our cores, the things that really matter, at the essence of what makes us unique individuals, we are so much alike it is uncanny.  What Chris does care about is if I am content, fulfilled and healthy.  The rest, to him, are just details that can be sorted out at a later time.

This past Tuesday, when I called Chris and told him I wasn’t feeling well and all I had given at the gym was about 10%, he very nonchalantly said “you can do better tomorrow”.  Well, along with not feeling well and half assing the gym, I was also horribly off with my eating (i.e. I rewarded my self with a couple of greasy burritos that made me sick because I had all but eliminated such foods from my diet.)

It seems that I am not the sort of girl who can have an off day and immediately resume my previous routines the next day.  No, I am the sort of girl who allows one off day to turn into a full fledge fall from the proverbial waggon. 

Wednesday was no better eating/exercise wise for me than the previous day.  I spent the majority of the day preparing food for Thanksgiving.  I also was cleaning house, doing laundry and trying to entertain 4 very restless, board little girls.  By the time I should have left  for Zumba, I was so tired and spent I decided that missing one day wouldn’t hurt.  But it wasn’t just one day, it was Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday at least.

Thursday I did at least manage to not make a glutton out of myself, that is until it comes to those meringue  cookies.  I probably ate 30 of them over the course of the day.  Thankfully though, according to the recipe calculator I used, each one was worth about 8.8 calories each.

For Friday, I had every intention of going to Zumba that evening.  In fact, while I was in Old Navy at 2:30 a.m. indulging in the Black Friday sales,  I ran into a lady who also goes to my Zumba class.  When she asked if she would see me at Zumba that afternoon, I told her “of course”!  As the day wore on though, lack of sleep, general exhaustion and children still going strong on their sugar highs, I could not find the will.

What I did find over the weekend was 3 meals at restaurant that were probably well over 1000 calories each.  Which brings me to the thing that brought me to question accountability:  lunch today.

Chris and I took my Mama to eat at Texas Road House.  If you haven’t been there, they server warm rolls with sweet cinnamon butter.  I always bring a box home with me.  Today as I was packing up the left overs, Chris decided to  put his foot down and not let me bring home the rolls.  I know I have even asked him to tell me not bring them, but he had just witnessed me devour over 3000 calories in less than 24 hours.  Why did he pick the rolls to hold me accountable?  Why not the two previous meals?

I guess it just aggravated me, because I want Chris to help hold me accountable and I don’t understand why he never said a word about anything else I had eaten over the weekend.

Chris and I are fully aware of the fact that separately we do pretty good with our own diets, but collectively we are very very dangerous and will not (normally) tell the other no.

How do we move past this?  How do I learn to be more self accountable and do so quickly.  How do I help Chris learn when the appropriate times to hold me accountable are?

Back to the grind in the morning and Zumba tomorrow evening.  My eating has been atrocious and I have felt horrible because of it.  I am looking forward to getting back to it.

Weight in tomorrow too….I am skeered!

How was your Thanksgiving?

  Do you have anyone to help hold you accountable?

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2 Comments

Filed under General, Health

2 responses to “Accountability

  1. Elizabeth

    Boy I hear ya there. If I do bad, sometimes it’s literally months before I clean up my act. Joseph and I are so awful because we love food and we never say no to each other, hence we are both around 300. Our Thanksgiving was really great. Spent it with Joseph’s family and had a super great time. Ate lots of stuffing. Stuffing is my Thanksgiving downfall. I’m so glad I only allow myself once a year for that food. Anyway, I hope you find your way back “on the wagon”.

  2. zumbagoodness

    Get yourself to Zumba class tomorrow…you’ll feel a lot better when you let the Latin music lift your spirits. 🙂 In the past, I found myself slipping in my ‘self accountability’ when it came to exercise, even worse so when it comes to how I eat. But I found a way to pull me out of a funk and encourage me to get to moving: I started an exercise log.

    All I do is write the day of the week and what I did for exercise that day. If I have several “Rest Days” in a row (some were truly rest days after a string of exercise days, others were…well, not), I’d put down a short reason for them. “Sick with cold”…”moving into new house”…”sister’s wedding”…were all valid reasons. Seeing the days that I was just plain lazy often made me put my mental foot down and get myself to Zumba class.

    I often detailed my weight training regimens so I’d have workouts to refer to when I wasn’t sure what to do on a particular day. Plus when you can look back and see all you’ve accomplished, it gives you the ‘pat on the back’ you need to keep going. 🙂

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