Christianity and Sexuality

I am just going to jump right in and tackle one of the more prominent  questions I have had ever since I accepted Jesus Christ and became saved.

For the majority of my life, I have identified as being a sexual person (not to be confused with an asexual person).  I have left a trail of men behind me to attest to this.  I am not  proud of everything I have ever done in my life, but the culmination of all my choices make me the person I am today. 

Ever since I became saved, I have pondered over my sexuality.  This is not a question of if I am straight or gay.  This is a question of is it possible to be a sexual being and still honor and serve God.    I should also clarify that this is not a plea or question of promiscuity.

Generally, when I think about Christians and sex I think:

A:  Christian’s don’t have sex

B:  Christian’s have very plain, vanilla sex

C:  Christian’s lack passion for their spouse

I have to admit that since becoming a Christian, I can’t imagine that these are 100% accurate assumptions.  Just because I have been saved, I haven’t stopped having sexual desires, needs or wants. 

Meeting Chris has been such a huge blessing to me.  Not only is he my best friend, my partner in crime, he is my lover and all that I desire (in a man/husband).

I have a hard time reconciling my desire and longing for my husband with being a Christian.  I know it is not a sin to desire your husband.  But am I destined to have “vanilla” sex for the rest of my life? 

Can you be “freaky” and still honor God?  I realize some of you my be scratching your head, wondering what I mean by “freaky”, let’s just say that  is all the description I am willing to give. However, if you would like, let  your imagination do the walking, then shock yourself and you’ll almost be there.

So I am left wondering,  what it is like to be a Christian before getting married?  How do you reconcile the longing you have for your future spouse (or someone you are just dating) with serving and honoring the Lord?

What are your thoughts, ideas or experiences?


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5 responses to “Christianity and Sexuality

  1. Elizabeth

    Good blog and good question. I have been to a few churches where they have a specific series on sex and marriage. It has been through hearing these sermons that I have learned that sex in marriage is more than just “vanilla”. I think both the secular world and the church have for many years twisted the idea of sex into something the Lord never intended. It is not something to do outside marriage because God created it to be within the confines of marriage, nor is it a dirty thing to be only done for procreation purposes. I love the website Focus on the Family because it talks about many issues from the Christian standpoint. I went and found some articles about what sex really is about from the aspect of the Bible and the Lord. Here’s the link

    I hope it helps answer some of your questions. Keep up the great blog of yours!

  2. Jamie pogue

    Oh Lordy…. I have struggled with the same thing..
    One conclusion I have reached is in a very simple statement I heard from a Christian speaker….

    “As long as it isn’t illegal or immoral, then it’s ok”

    That’s your husband… And God is very pleased when you are pleasing each other….

    And in Song of Solomon in the bible they didn’t hold back anything… I wonder why God would put that in there for all of us to read if he didn’t intend for us to utilize it.

    Food for thought…

  3. Melissa Khammash

    In most religions—if it is sex between a husband and wife and isn’t illegal/immoral in any way–sex was created for us to enjoy as well as procreate. Islam is actually very open about what is right and wrong in all of this and women and men do discuss it openly (LOL not in mixed groups of course!). Husbands and wives are “garments” for each other and are to be worn often. God (Allah) made us partners unto each other and when married we are to enjoy each other fully and have an open relationship about everything. As far as I know only anal intercourse and sex while a woman is on her period or the 40 days after giving birth is sex prohibited in Islam. Other than that all is open and fair game LOL!

    Interesting questions by the way. Enjoying reading your blog entries, Christi! Hopefully we will get more time to talk one day LOL.

  4. Melissa Khammash

    Oh yeah, and this is why our religious leaders can be married—to not be married (ie, like catholic priests ect) goes against nature and how God created us. Just a little note there LOL!

  5. Debra

    The Bible says that sex serves many purposes, such as:

    1. Pleasure (Song of Songs is an entire book on this fact)
    2. Children (Genesis 1:28)
    3. Oneness (Genesis 2:24)
    4. Knowledge (Genesis 4:1)
    5. Comfort (2 Samuel 12:24)
    6. Protection from sexual sin (1 Corinthians 7:2-5)

    Furthermore, the biblical book Song of Songs gives great liberty for sexual freedom in marriage, including:

    1. Kissing (1:2)
    2. Oral sex (fellatio), by her initiative (2:3)
    3. Manual stimulation, by her invitation (2:6)
    4. Petting, by his initiative (4:5)
    5. Oral sex (cunnilingus), by his initiative (4:12-5:1)
    6. Striptease (6:13-7:9)
    7. New places, including the outdoors, and positions, by her initiative (7:11-13)

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